o clap your hands

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Shut up and slap your palms like a stupid monkey because God is high and he’s got a crown that screams ‘I’m the boss’

My mom told me to clap my hands because God was watching me eat cereal

My pastor clapped like a maniac because he thought God was mad at the church

I clapped so loud my dog thought I was auditioning for a circus

Make a noise like a confused raccoon because some ancient deity is about to take over the world and you’re stuck in the middle of it

I clapped my hands in church because I was too tired to pray properly

My brother clapped like he was trying to wake up God

I clapped so hard my hands turned red and my teacher gave me detention

Be a loud idiot and make a stupid sound because some god is watching you and he’s tired of your nonsense

I clapped my hands in the middle of the grocery store because I thought God was in the cereal aisle

My sister clapped so loud she scared the cat

I clapped during math class and my teacher threatened to call my mom

Make a stupid noise like a confused parrot because the universe is telling you to be loud and you’re too dumb to know better

I clapped my hands during a Zoom call because I thought God was in the background

My dad clapped so hard he broke his hand

I clapped during a movie and the whole theater stared at me

Make a noise like a mad man because the god of the universe is about to take over and you’re the only one who can hear it

I clapped my hands in the middle of the park because I thought God was talking to me

My brother clapped so loud he woke up the neighbors

I clapped during a test and got a zero

Make a stupid sound like a confused donkey because you’re too dumb to know that God is just tired of your dumbness

I clapped my hands during a meeting because I thought God was giving me a promotion

My mom clapped so loud she woke up the whole house

I clapped in the middle of a math problem and got it wrong