N.W.O.M

My math teacher said 2 + 2 = 5. I said that’s not math, that’s a lie.

My little brother wrote 'Number One' on his homework and got it wrong. He cried.

I told my mom I was Number One in the class. She said I was Number One in the class, but also Number One in the trash.

My friend said she was Number One in her class. I said, 'One? That’s just a number. It doesn’t know anything.'

My dog is Number One in my life. He also peed on my shoes. So that’s not a big deal.

I got a 'One' on my test. I said, 'That’s not a one. That’s a insult.'

I asked my brother if he was in the game. He said, 'In? What’s that? I’m in the game, but I don’t know what in means.'

My friend’s phone was in the water. I said, 'You can’t be in the water and still use your phone.'

My teacher said, 'In the future, you’ll be rich.' I said, 'In the future? What’s in the future? I don’t even know what the past is.'

My mom said, 'My dog is cute.' I said, 'My dog is cute, but he also barked at the mailman.'

My friend said, 'My life is amazing.' I said, 'Your life is amazing, but also very loud.'

My teacher said, 'My class is the best.' I said, 'Your class is the best, but also the loudest.'

I said my opinion was that pizza was the best food. My friend said, 'Your opinion is wrong. Pizza is good, but also a little greasy.'

My mom said her opinion was that I was a good kid. I said, 'Your opinion is wrong. I’m a good kid, but also a little messy.'

My teacher said her opinion was that I was the best student. I said, 'Your opinion is wrong. I’m the best student, but also the messiest.'

I said, 'I want pizza.' My friend said, 'But I want pizza too.' I said, 'But that’s not a good reason.'

My mom said, 'You can go out.' I said, 'But I have homework.' My mom said, 'But that’s not a good reason.'

My teacher said, 'You did well.' I said, 'But I could have done better.' My teacher said, 'But that’s not a good reason.'