N&F

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when matt orth takes a long time to get off and it’s all because he’s looking at abercrombie and fitch magazines and he’s a fagget

matt orth: *sits there for 20 minutes staring at a catalog* #nandf

matt orth: why do i even need a job when i can just look at pictures of rich kids?

matt orth: i can’t even finish this magazine without getting a hard on

the cheapest motel where the bed smells like old pizza and you might get something from the guy who works there that you really don’t want

i just came out of that motel and i feel like i got a disease

that motel is where i got a rash and a bad attitude

the guy at the motel gave me a look like he was already contagious

another afternoon of getting your ass licked by someone who smells like old pizza and is still wearing the same shirt from last week

i came back from work and got my ass licked again #nandf

that guy at work said he had to do it again because he had time

my boss told me to do it again because he needed a break

used in rap songs it’s a gun brand that makes the kind of guns that go through vests and make you feel like you’re about to die

that rap song had me ready to get shot

i’ve got a vest and still got shot in the face

that gun brand is why i’m still alive but barely

a nicer way to say fcuk but it’s still as bad as fcuk and you still feel like you got hit by a bus

i said fcuk and got called out by my mom

my friend said fcuk and got kicked out of the house

i said fcuk and my dog looked at me like i was crazy

a massage place where the guy at the end of the massage grabs your head and does something that feels like you're getting jacked off by a robot

that massage place guy flipped me and i felt like a robot

the guy at the massage place flipped me and i got a hard on

i went to that place and got flipped like i was in a movie

the new guy at work who is still learning how to use the printer and doesn’t know what the word 'fucking' means yet

the new guy asked me what 'fucking' meant

the new guy tried to print and it came out like a dog ate it

the new guy said 'fucking' like it was a new word