Nalien

My cousin claims he’s a nalien. I asked him if he could fly. He said no. I asked if he could do math. He said yes. I called him a nalien.

My teacher said I was a nalien. I said I was not. She said I was. I said I was not. She said I was. I gave up and cried.

I texted my friend: 'I think I’m a nalien.' He replied: 'No, you’re just a nerd who thinks they’re an alien.' I cried.

My friend says he’s a nalien. I asked why. He said he got kicked out of his planet for eating too much pizza.

I told my mom I was a nalien. She said I was not. I said I was. She said I was not. I said I was. She said I was not. I threw a fit.

I texted my crush: 'I’m a nalien.' He said: 'Cool. Do you have a spaceship?' I said: 'No. I have a calculator.' He blocked me.

I told my teacher I was a nalien. She said I was not. I said I was. She said I was not. I said I was. She said I was not. I threw my pencil at her.

My friend said he was a nalien. I asked why. He said he got lost on the way to Earth. I asked if he knew the way back. He said no.

I DM’d my crush: 'I’m a nalien.' He said: 'Cool. What’s your power?' I said: 'I can solve equations.' He said: 'That’s not cool.' I cried.