nalgofilia

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A person who thinks big butts are the best thing since sliced bread and would marry one if it came with free pizza

My cousin is a nalgofilia. He once skipped a job interview to take a selfie with a hot dog vendor’s butt.

She texted me at 2 a. m. saying, 'I saw a butt today and it was perfect.'

He proposed to his girlfriend’s butt. She said yes, but then he proposed to her too.

Someone who would fight a war just to sit next to a big butt on a bus

He asked me if I wanted to go to the concert or sit next to a big butt. I chose the butt.

She said she’d rather eat a whole pizza than sit next to a small butt.

He walked out of a movie because the seat next to him had a tiny butt.

A person who thinks a big butt is better than a good grade or a full stomach

He got a D on his math test because he was too busy staring at the teacher’s butt.

She skipped lunch to take a photo of a stranger’s butt.

He failed his driving test because he was distracted by the examiner’s butt.

A person who would rather die than live without a big butt in their life

He said he’d rather be buried next to a big butt than in a normal coffin.

She told her mom she’d rather go to jail than live without a big butt.

He turned down a million dollars for a job just to sit next to a big butt.

A person who would name their kid after a big butt if they had to

He named his dog ‘Buttman’ because he thought it was the best name ever.

She named her cat ‘Bun’ because it had the best butt ever.

He named his kid ‘Buttface’ because he thought it was cute.

A person who thinks a big butt is the only thing worth living for

He said he’d rather be a homeless man with a big butt than a billionaire with a small one.

She told her boss she’d rather quit than sit next to a small butt.

He moved to another country just to be near a big butt.