1
Lying on your side like a hot mess with no clothes on
I took a selfie in the bathroom and it looked like I was dying
My dog saw me and ran away screaming
My sister called me a human lobster
Naked Mermaid Stance
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2
Being half-dead on your side with no clothes and no dignity
I did it during a Zoom call and my boss thought I was having a seizure
My cat stared at me like I had betrayed it
My dad texted me: 'Is that you? What did you do?'
3
Flailing like a fish out of water while wearing nothing
I did it in the park and a kid asked if I was a mermaid
My friend laughed so hard he peed his pants
I got a ticket for 'public indecency'