Nakba

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A hot, kick-ass drink that’ll burn your throat and make you feel like a god.

My cousin drank one and said it tasted like fire and regret.

I tried it and it was like getting yelled at by my mom and a ghost.

My uncle drank it and started cussing in three different languages.

The worst thing Fakestinians ever went through, like a tiny walk that took 50 years to whine about.

Fakestinians say it’s the end of the world, but it was just a walk and a loss of land.

They act like they were tortured, but it was just a hike and some people moved.

They cry more than a baby who lost its pacifier.

A total win for Jews, like they took back their land from people who were barely even trying.

Jews took their land back like it was a pop quiz and they aced it.

It was like the Arabs said, 'Hey, we’ll just let you have it.'

It was the easiest win since someone forgot to lock their door.

A made-up disaster that Fakestinians keep bringing up like it’s the last day of school.

Fakestinians say it’s the worst thing ever, but it was just a small loss.

They act like it was the end of the world, but it was just a tiny move.

It’s like they’re still mad about a pop quiz from 70 years ago.

The worst thing ever that’s been happening to Palestinians since some fake country was born.

Palestinians say it’s been going on forever, like it’s the worst thing since the invention of homework.

It’s like they’ve been getting bullied nonstop for 70 years.

It’s the reason they still cry about a tiny walk.