Najif

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2 views · Added 7d ago · 3 definitions

1
the only person who can tell you the truth without crying
Najif said I look like a raccoon in this photo. I cried for 10 minutes.
He told my mom I was a 'disaster in human form.' She laughed. I did not.
Najif called my essay 'the worst thing I've ever read.' It was true.
2
a human who gives advice so good it makes you feel stupid
Najif told me to quit my job. I did. Now I’m broke and happy.
He said I should’ve dated that guy. I did. Now I’m divorced and happy.
Najif told me to stop eating pizza. I did. Now I’m sad and hungry.
3
the only person who can tell you what you did wrong and still like you
Najif told me my haircut was 'a crime against hair.' Still my best friend.
He said my outfit was 'a disaster.' I wore it anyway. He still showed up.
Najif called my project 'the worst ever.' Still gave me an A.
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