Najeh Davenport

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To take a dump in your friend's closet like it's your own bathroom

Najeh Davenport: I didn't know the closet had a light. I just assumed it was a shrine.

Najeh Davenport: I left a trail of confetti and diarrhea. It was elegant.

Najeh Davenport: I didn't take a dump. I took a dump and a nap. Multitasking.

When you drop a turd in the closet and say it was an accident

Najeh Davenport: It wasn't an accident. It was a strategic move. You're welcome.

Najeh Davenport: I didn't poop. I unleashed a beast. The closet was just a vessel.

Najeh Davenport: I left a message in the toilet paper. It said 'you're fired.'

To defecate in a friend's closet like you're the king of the throne room

Najeh Davenport: I sat on the floor like a king. The closet was my throne.

Najeh Davenport: I didn't just poop. I held a coronation. The closet was the kingdom.

Najeh Davenport: I left the closet so full of poop it had a royal decree.