naivara

I told her not to touch the bomb. She said, 'It’s just a little boom.' Now my best friend is a smoldering pile of regret.

She took out three guys in a bar just to prove a point. Now she’s the talk of the town, and the hospital.

Her friends are like lottery tickets. She buys them, and she always wins… with blood and fire.

She said, 'I’ll take you to the movies.' I didn’t know it was a funeral for my left eye and my best friend’s soul.

She invited me to a picnic. Turns out it was a mass execution. I got a sandwich and a bullet to the chest.

She told me to bring her a drink. I brought her a grenade. Now I’m the only one who knows why my friend died.

She said, 'Let’s go to the mall.' I didn’t expect to see my friend’s head on a pike by the food court.

She invited me to a sleepover. I ended up in the hospital with third-degree burns and a new nickname: 'The Burned One.'

She told me, 'This is going to be fun.' I didn’t know fun meant getting blown up by my own friend.