nairika

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A weird, brainless girl who hangs out with even weirder people and thinks it’s cool

Nairika said she turned into a goat last night. I asked if it was a goat or a cow. She said both.

Her crush is a guy who wears socks with sandals and talks to plants.

She texted me at 3 a. m. to tell me her pet lizard is sad because the sun went to bed.

A girl who’s so dumb she thinks being weird is a superpower and her friends are the sidekicks

Nairika told me her mom is a vampire. I asked if her dad is a zombie. She said he’s both.

She claims she can talk to ghosts. I asked if they talk back. She said they just yell.

She tried to summon a demon with a cheeseburger. It just asked for fries.

A girl so lost in her weirdness she thinks being dumb is a fashion statement and her friends are the models

Nairika wore a hat made of spaghetti to school. The principal asked why. She said it’s the latest trend.

She told me her dog can do math. I asked if it can multiply. She said it can, but it always adds extra.

She tried to explain her life to me. I fell asleep. Her dog ate my sandwich.

A girl who’s so weird she thinks her brain is a toaster and her friends are the bread

Nairika said her hair is alive. I asked if it eats hair. She said it just stares at it.

She tried to cook breakfast. The stove caught fire. Her pet turtle ate the smoke.

She told me she can fly. I asked if she’s ever fallen. She said she did, but it was just a soft landing.

A girl who’s so dumb she thinks being weird is the same as being smart and her friends are her teachers

Nairika told me her phone can talk. I asked if it can text. She said it can, but it always sends selfies.

She thinks her cat is a wizard. I asked if the cat can do magic. She said it can, but it just does naps.

She tried to explain the universe to me. I asked if it was complicated. She said it was just ‘very weird.’