nailbender

My nailbender just cursed my IKEA table and hit it with a hammer like it owed him money.

He called my bookshelf 'a disgrace' and nailed it to the wall like it was in a fight.

He told my couch it was 'a waste of wood' and gave it a black eye with a nail gun.

He gave me a look when I dropped my coffee table and said, 'You're lucky I didn't nail you to the floor.'

He called my broken chair 'a disgrace to carpentry' and nailed it back together like it was a criminal.

He yelled at my floor when I spilled soup on it and nailed it to the ground for good.

He screamed at my bookshelf like it had insulted him and nailed it to the wall.

He called my table 'a disgrace' and nailed it so hard it might have cried.

He yelled at my chair for being wobbly and nailed it to the floor like it was a kid who broke a vase.