NAGL

My dating life is a total NAGL. I asked her if she wanted to go to the movies. She said yes. Then I showed up in a sweatpants and a pizza box.

That outfit was a NAGL. It looked like a raccoon wore a gym sock and tried to be a fashion icon.

My mom’s cooking is a NAGL. I think she tried to boil my brother and forgot about me.

That haircut was a NAGL. It looked like a hair stylist had a meltdown and tried to kill me with scissors.

My ex’s new boyfriend is a NAGL. He wears socks with sandals and talks to plants.

That concert was a NAGL. The band was drunk, the lights were broken, and I had to sit next to a guy who smelled like a trash can.

My brother’s new beard is a NAGL. It looks like he used a blender to mix mud and hair.

That pizza was a NAGL. It looked like it was thrown out of a plane and landed in a lake.

My dog’s new haircut is a NAGL. He looks like a disgruntled chicken who got hit by a car.

That play was a NAGL. The actors were screaming, the lights were blinking, and I had to leave because I was crying.

The NAGL play was so bad, my neighbor came in and asked if I was being tortured.

I watched the NAGL play and now I have a headache, a broken heart, and a desire to never speak again.

That smoothie was a NAGL. I drank it and felt like I was flying.

That coffee was a NAGL. It tasted like heaven and I got a free unicorn.

That cake was a NAGL. I ate it and now I’m a wizard.

I went to the bar and got so drunk, I was a NAGL. I tried to dance and fell into a chair.

My cousin was a NAGL at the party. He tried to talk to the ceiling and then cried in a toilet.

That kid was a NAGL. He drank 10 shots and tried to sing ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ in a bathroom.

My friend got NAGL’d at the club. He cried, he screamed, and then he cried again.

I got NAGL’d by my brother. He used a pillow and a dictionary.

That guy got NAGL’d by a group of girls. He now thinks he’s a chicken.