Nagilu

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A walking miracle who looks good, talks too much, and can predict your dumbest mistakes before they happen

She told me I’d fail math before I even opened my textbook. I did. She was right.

He asked her if he’d get a promotion. She said no. He got fired. She was right again.

At the party, she said I’d spill my drink. I did. She knew I was gonna do it before I even touched it.

A human who is hot, loud, and can see your life playing out like a bad movie you’ll never watch

She said I’d get into a fight with my brother. I did. She said it’d be over a pizza. It was.

He asked if he’d pass his test. She said no. He failed. She was right again.

She told me I’d embarrass myself at the talent show. I did. I sang off-key and tripped.

A goddess who knows everything, talks too much, and can see your dumbest choices before you make them

She told me I’d pick the worst outfit. I did. It was a neon shirt and black pants.

He asked her if he’d get a girlfriend. She said no. He did. She was wrong once. Still cool.

She said I’d eat the entire cake. I did. I couldn’t stop.

A person who’s hot, talks a lot, and can tell your life story before you even start it

She told me I’d get into a fight with my mom. I did. It was over the remote.

He asked her if he’d get a job. She said no. He got one. She was wrong. Still cool.

She said I’d eat all the pizza. I did. I was full for a week.

A human who is beautiful, loud, and can see your life before it even starts

She told me I’d fail my test. I did. She was right again.

He asked her if he’d get into trouble. She said yes. He got into trouble. She was right.

She said I’d spill my drink. I did. It was all over my shirt.