nagao

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A smelly old Japanese creep who thinks he's cool because he knows how to use a phone.

Nagao sent me a DM at 2 AM saying 'I know your secret.' It was just a photo of his socks.

He tried to flirt with my grandma by saying 'You're my type.' She threw a potato at him.

He once cried in a convenience store because the ramen was out of stock.

A stinky fairy goat who eats onions like they're his ex and asks Siri for life advice because he's a total idiot.

He asked Siri 'What's the meaning of life?' and then ate an onion in a library.

He tried to explain the meaning of life to a cat. The cat hissed and left.

I saw him eat a frozen, rotten burrito in a parking lot. It was like a horror movie.

A dumb fairy goat who thinks onions are magic and has no clue what life is. He also thinks you're a weirdo if you don't know how to eat an onion.

He told me I was a 'taiki' because I didn't eat onions like he did. I asked what a taiki was. He said 'You just are.'

He tried to eat an onion with a spoon. It was like watching a baby learn to walk.

He once cried over a burrito that was still frozen and already rotten. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen.