Nadeev

His wife texted him: 'I cried so hard today because you’re so cute.' He replied: 'I’m not cute. I’m a man.'

At work, his boss said, 'Nadeev, you’re the only one who cries at lunch.' He said, 'That’s not true. My wife cries at me.'

He posted on Facebook: 'My wife cried on my shoulder again. I’m tired of being her emotional support pillow.'

He said, 'I let my wife walk on me like I’m a doormat.' His friend said, 'You’re not a doormat. You’re a rug.'

His wife said, 'I walk on you every day.' He said, 'I know. It’s why I wear socks.'

He posted on Twitter: 'My wife walks on me like I’m a doormat. I’m tired of being a rug.'

His wife asked him to clean the house. He said, 'Yes, ma’am.' She said, 'You’re the best husband ever.'

He said, 'I can’t say no to her. She’s like a kid on candy.'

He texted his friend: 'My wife asked me to do her taxes. I said yes. Now I’m stuck with her for the rest of my life.'