Nadamay Putin

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Two faggots smacking each other’s cheeks like they’re trying to wake up a dead man. It’s like a dance move but no one cares.

My cousin and his boyfriend did this at the mall and got kicked out.

I saw it in the gym and almost threw my protein shake at them.

My mom did this with her friend and now they’re both in therapy.

Two queers hitting each other’s backsides like they’re fighting for the last taco. Nothing happens. Just a mess.

My brother and his guy did this at the dinner table and spilled soup everywhere.

I did this with my friend in the park and now we both have sunburns.

My dad and his buddy did this at the bar and got thrown out.

Two men slapping each other’s butts like they’re trying to start a fire. No one gets it. Not even the fire.

I did this with my coworker and now everyone at work thinks we’re in love.

My uncle and his guy did this at the church and the priest was confused.

I saw it at the movie theater and almost yelled at the screen.