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When a crusty guy grows long hairs on his face, it makes gross goth girls swoon and scream for some messy goth sex. It's like a magic spell for the dark crowd and scientists are still trying to figure it out.
@gothguy2000: My beard is so legendary, even the vampires are jealous.
My face hair is so good, my goth crush tried to eat it.
I got 10 goth girls to come to my house just because of my beard.