Nac Attack

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When someone guzzles Cognac like it’s going out of style and then starts dancing like a confused flamingo

I drank six shots of Cognac and now I’m doing the can-can in my sock.

He poured the Cognac like it was gasoline and then twerked like he was at a rodeo.

She chugged the Cognac like it was her ex and then moonwalked across the kitchen.

When someone turns into a human blender after one sip of Cognac and starts yelling nonsense

I had one sip of Cognac and now I’m screaming at the ceiling about my third grade math teacher.

He took a swig of Cognac and started talking about pizza like it was a war.

She drank the Cognac and then yelled at her cat for not being a superhero.

When someone drinks Cognac so fast it feels like it’s trying to escape their mouth

I drank the Cognac so fast it came out my nose and I cried like a baby.

He swallowed the Cognac like it was a fire alarm and started shouting in Morse code.

She drank it like it was a curse and then tried to punch the bottle.

When someone drinks Cognac and then turns into a human tornado just to prove a point

I drank the Cognac and then spun around like I was trying to knock out the moon.

He took a sip and started whirling like he was fighting a ghost.

She downed the Cognac and then did a pirouette like she was auditioning for a show.

When someone drinks Cognac and then starts arguing with their reflection over who’s the better version of themselves

I had a sip of Cognac and then started screaming at my mirror like it was my arch nemesis.

He drank the Cognac and then had a full-blown debate with his reflection about his hair.

She downed the Cognac and then told her reflection it was ‘obviously’ better.”

When someone drinks Cognac and then acts like they’ve discovered the secret to life and time

I drank the Cognac and now I’m telling everyone I’ve unlocked the code to the universe.

He took a swig and started giving life advice like he was the Dalai Lama.

She drank it and then said she knew everything, including why her ex left.