Naaval Warfaree

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A stupid game where kids act like they’re in charge of a ship, even though they can’t tell north from a donut.

My cousin tried to command the team, but he got lost between the snack table and the soccer field.

I told my brother he was a lousy captain because he forgot to bring the snacks.

The whole game was ruined when someone spilled juice on the map.

A bunch of 9-year-olds trying to look cool while they fail at being pirates.

My friend said, ‘Avast, ye scallywags!’ but he tripped over his shoelace.

The ‘battle’ was just two kids throwing crumpled paper at each other.

The map was just a piece of pizza with ketchup for the ocean.

A fake war where kids think they’re tough, but they’re just mad they lost the last game.

He screamed, ‘I’ll take over your ship!’ then cried when he got a paper cut.

She said, ‘I’m the best captain ever!’ then fell into a puddle.

They argued for 10 minutes about whose snack was better.