N95

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Being paranoid enough to wear a mask because you think the world is out to get you.

I wore an N95 because my ex got a virus from the gym and I don’t trust anyone who works out.

My neighbor wears an N95 to the grocery store like it’s a warzone.

I wear an N95 because I think my dog is plotting to give me rabies.

The best kind of mask if you want to survive a virus that smells like hot garbage.

I wore my N95 like it was my last hope against a virus that smelled like expired pizza.

The N95 was my shield against the virus that made my coworker vomit in the breakroom.

My N95 saved me from the virus that turned my brother into a zombie.

Putting your face in a woman’s crotch and wearing her like a mask because you’re too lazy to use a real one.

I used my girlfriend as an N95 because I didn’t want to wear a mask and I wanted to feel her at the same time.

My friend tried to use his crush as an N95 and failed because she ran away.

He used his sister’s crotch as a mask during a lockdown and got banned from the house.

When you cover a woman’s mouth with your cum and hope she doesn’t scream.

He covered her mouth with his cum and told her it was a mask for a virus that only affects women.

She tried to scream through his cum mask and it came out as a weird moan.

He used cum as a mask and got stuck with her for the rest of the week.

A phone so cool it can take pictures, connect to Wi-Fi, and store all your secrets.

My N95 took a picture of my mom’s face when she yelled at me for eating too much cake.

I used my N95 to connect to the Wi-Fi and watched movies all day.

My N95 had 8GB of memory and I used it to store my entire life.

N95 masks were invented because demons came from hell and needed something to cover their ugly faces.

The N95 mask was invented when a demon walked into my classroom and scared my teacher.

My uncle said demons use N95 masks to hide their evil faces.

The N95 was made so demons could come to Earth and not be recognized.

A mask that filters out tiny particles, but it can’t handle oily stuff like your greasy breakfast.

I wore my N95 mask and it filtered out my greasy breakfast, but it couldn’t handle the oil.

My N95 mask failed when I ate a greasy burger in public.

The N95 was good for dust, but it couldn’t stop my breakfast.