n00bitute

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A clueless newbie prostitute who can't even fake a smile without tripping over her own feet.

'She tried to do a striptease and fell into the toilet. I didn't even charge her.'

'He asked for a blow job and she handed him a mop.'

'She said she was a pro. Then she spilled wine on my shirt and cried.'

A prostitute so green she thinks her period is a special effect.

'She said she could do anything. Then she tried to do a back massage and fell asleep.'

'She tried to flirt with the cops and got arrested for jaywalking.'

'She said she had a degree in sex. Then she asked what a vowel was.'

A prostitute so bad she makes the guys look like rock stars.

'She tried to seduce me and said, 'I'm a pro. I’ve done 100 clients.' Then she asked me what 2+2 was.'

'She tried to do a dance and tripped over her own dress.'

'She said she could do anything. Then she tried to do a kiss and brought up a hairball.'

A prostitute who thinks 'dick' is a type of sandwich.

'She asked me what I wanted and said, 'I’ll bring you a ham and dick sandwich.'

'She said she could do anything. Then she tried to do a massage and hit me with a feather duster.'

'She told me she was a master. Then she said she didn’t know what a vowel was.'

A prostitute so new she still thinks a credit card is a food item.

'She asked me if I wanted a pizza and took my credit card for a tip.'

'She tried to do a dance and fell over and said, 'I think I broke my ankle and my pride.'

'She said she was a pro. Then she tried to do a handshake and spilled coffee on me.'

A prostitute who still thinks a 'blow job' is a type of soup.

'She asked me if I wanted a soup and said, 'I do a blow job and a broth.'

'She tried to do a kiss and brought up a bowl of soup.'

'She said she was a pro. Then she said, 'I don’t know what a blow job is. But I’ll give you a broth.'