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when your shady friend is being a tiny pain in the ass and needs a good kick in the pants to shut them up.

My cousin was bragging about his new car. I told him I’d take it if he shut up.

My homie kept roasting me. I told him I’d roast him back if he didn’t stop.

My bro was being a total brat. I told him I’d beat him up if he didn’t behave.

throwing yourself at something like you’re trying to impress a hot girl in a sports game.

He jumped over the fence like he was trying to impress a cheerleader.

She kicked the ball so hard it flew into the stands.

He ran like he was being chased by a bear and a cop at the same time.

a fling where you have sex once and then never speak to that person again. you’re like ‘thanks, but no thanks’.

We had sex once and he never texted me again. I was like, ‘thanks, but no thanks.’

She hooked up with my bro and then vanished. I was like, ‘what the hell?’

He hit it and quit it. I was like, ‘that’s the worst.’

when a creepy guy buys you a drink and you’re like, ‘nope,’ and you down your drink and bolt out of there like you’re running from a fire.

He bought me a drink. I downed it and ran out like I was being chased by a dragon.

The guy was creepy. I drank my soda and walked out like I had a date with the devil.

He tried to hit on me. I took a sip of my drink and took off like I was late for my life.