M.O.P.A.N or Middle of Poor Ass Nowhere

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You're stuck in the dirt between two lousy towns like a bad haircut.

I'm out here eating a taco at 2 AM and there's nothing but cows and regret.

My GPS said I was close. I'm still 20 miles from the nearest gas station.

I'm trying to find my way back and my phone just died like it hated me.

You’re so far out that even the trash can is mad at you.

This place is so empty, I had a conversation with a goat.

I walked past three dead crows and still felt like the most important person here.

My dog ran off and I had to chase him into the woods.

You're so far from everything it's like the world forgot you.

I'm sitting in my car like I'm the last person on Earth.

My phone lost signal and I felt like I was being exiled.

I had to pee in a bush and it was the most dramatic thing I've ever done.

You're in the middle of nowhere like your whole life is a bad joke.

I’m out here with nothing but a sandwich and a bad attitude.

I saw a sign that said 'Welcome' and I yelled 'No thanks!' back at it.

I tried to take a selfie and the background was just dirt and disappointment.

You're stuck in the dirt like you're the last bad decision anyone ever made.

I'm so far out here, I had to explain my existence to a squirrel.

I tried to text my mom and my phone just cried.

I'm so bored, I started talking to my shadow.

You're stuck in the middle of nowhere like you're the punchline of a joke no one wants to hear.

I'm out here like I'm the extra in a movie no one watched.

I tried to sing and the wind laughed at me.

I had to eat my lunch and it felt like a betrayal.