m'homie

M'homie said he'd bring the snacks, but that just means he brought three bags of chips and a soda that's been sitting since 2015.

He called me m'homie in front of my mom. I'm still mad about that.

He said he'd be there in 10 minutes. It's been 40 and he's still eating a sandwich.

He said my tattoo was 'iconic.' I don't even know what that means.

He said my failed business was 'a hustle.' I'm still paying rent on that place.

He said my dating life was 'wild.' I think he meant 'disaster.'

He came to my birthday, my mom's funeral, and my cousin's baby shower. He was there for all of them.

He showed up to my game night and stayed until 3 a. m. I still don't know why.

He showed up to my DMs at 2 a. m. with a question about my ex.

He said I was right when I told my boss to go to hell. He even went with me.

He backed me up when I said my dog was the best. He even said my dog was 'a beast.'

He called my teacher a 'dumb b*tch' when I got sent to the office. I still don't know why.

He said he was the reason I passed my math test. I don't even know why he said that.

He told my teacher I was 'a genius.' I'm still confused.

He said he would be my manager. I think he means he wants my money.