maddy's dick

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1
a legend that never shows up and makes you question your life choices
I waited for Maddy's Dick for two hours. He never came. I now question my entire existence.
My friend said Maddy's Dick was coming. I skipped school. He didn’t show.
I gave him a 100 bucks. He said he was coming. He never showed. I cried.
2
a guy who’s always late and never does what he says he will
He said he’d be here by 10. It’s 12. He still hasn’t shown up.
I told him I’d bring pizza if he came. He said he’d be there by 8. He came at 11. I’m mad.
He promised me a job. He never showed. I’m still working at the burger place.
3
the worst kind of ghost that only appears when you’re hungover
I saw Maddy's Dick last night. I was hungover. It was the worst.
He showed up at my house when I had a hangover. I yelled at him. He vanished.
I saw him at the bar. I was hungover. I tried to hit him. He disappeared.
4
a fake person who everyone talks about but no one has ever met
Everyone says Maddy's Dick is the best. No one has ever met him.
He’s the best at everything. No one has ever seen him do it.
I asked my teacher about him. She said he’s a myth. I believe her now.
5
a guy who’s always running late and never finishes what he starts
He started a project. He never finished it. He was always late.
He said he’d help me with my homework. He showed up late. He didn’t finish.
He started a fight. He never finished it. He was always running.
6
the most annoying ghost who only shows up when you’re tired
I saw Maddy's Dick when I was tired. He was the worst.
He showed up when I was sleeping. I was tired. I yelled at him.
He came when I was exhausted. He was annoying. I wanted to punch him.
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