maddah

Fresh

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A half-witted lunatic who thinks he's a car guy. Smart enough to know what's up but too lazy to buy a real knife.

He tried to fix my car with a spoon and a curse.

He told me he's a mechanic but can't change a tire without crying.

He claims he's got a knife collection, but it's just a spoon and a pencil.

The DJ you'll never know about, but he'll play your favorite song at the worst possible moment.

He dropped my favorite song right when I spilled my coffee.

He played a remix of my childhood theme song during my mom's funeral.

He had the beat just right until he messed it up with a kazoo.

The wild party that happens every night during Ramadan, but it's just people screaming and eating like it's a feast.

I tried to pray, but someone was screaming about pizza.

The whole neighborhood was eating like they were in a food fight.

It was so loud I thought my neighbor was having a heart attack.