MADDAFACK

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Just stating the obvious like it’s the only truth in the universe and everyone else is a fool for not seeing it

You said the room was messy. I said, 'It’s a warzone. You’re lucky there’s no body count.'

She dropped her phone in soup. I said, 'That’s not a tragedy. That’s a soup accident.'

He said he was tired. I said, 'You’re not tired. You’re just lazy and pretending it’s a medical condition.'

Telling it like it is, even if it means making people feel like idiots for not knowing the obvious

He said he was going to win the game. I said, 'You’re not going to win. You’re just going to pretend you did.'

She said the pizza was good. I said, 'It’s not good. It’s just not bad enough to be called bad.'

He said he had a plan. I said, 'Your plan is to wing it and hope for the best.'

Being so blunt it’s like you’re holding a sign that reads 'Don’t be stupid' and everyone has to look at it

She asked if the movie was worth watching. I said, 'No. It’s just a bunch of people talking and pretending it’s a story.'

He said he was going to be rich. I said, 'You’re not going to be rich. You’re going to be broke and in denial.'

She said the party was fun. I said, 'It was just loud and you were too drunk to notice.'

Saying exactly what needs to be said without any sugarcoating or nonsense

He said he was going to be on time. I said, 'You’re not going to be on time. You’re just going to be late and blame the traffic.'

She said the cake was amazing. I said, 'It was okay. Just not bad enough to be called bad.'

He said he was going to win the bet. I said, 'You’re not going to win. You’re just going to pretend you did.'

Telling it like it is, even if it hurts people’s feelings or makes them mad

She asked if the music was good. I said, 'No. It’s just loud and you’re too drunk to notice.'

He said he was going to be rich. I said, 'You’re not going to be rich. You’re just going to be broke and in denial.'

She said the food was delicious. I said, 'It was just okay. Not bad, but not great.'