Madam Margrave

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A total waste of human flesh. He stares at kids like they're dessert. Drinks their tears like cheap wine.

He peed in the punch bowl at the school fair.

He asked my little sister if she wanted a lollipop or a blowjob.

He tried to sneak into my mom's yoga class wearing a banana costume.

The dirtiest old man in the whole world. He eats crayon for breakfast. Drains the joy out of kids.

He tried to hug me and smelled like old socks and regret.

He whispered secrets to my goldfish.

He wore a cape made of homework papers.

A walking disaster. He’s got a dirt bucket for a brain. Drinks kids’ fears like soda.

He sat in my chair and ate my sandwich like it was a crime.

He tried to take my pet turtle to a fancy dinner party.

He wore a hat made of math problems.