Mad snail disease

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When you're so desperate you start crying over your ex and their new hot friend

I saw my ex with their new bf and I cried in the mall

My ex's new bf is hotter than my mom's ex

I got mad snail disease when my ex texted me 'miss you' but then blocked me

A fake sickness that makes you feel like a zombie with a laugh track and bad toenails

I got mad snail disease and my toenails looked like a raccoon's feet

At school, I laughed so hard I fell over

My neighbor got mad snail disease and started eating my lawn

When someone is so brain-dead it makes your brain hurt just watching them

My friend is so dumb he thinks a chicken is a car

My mom thinks the moon is a cheese sandwich

My teacher said 2+2=5 and I got mad snail disease

When your bussy is so raw it looks like it was tortured by a donut

My bussy was so raw I could see my soul

I ate a burrito and my bussy got raw

My bussy got so raw my dog ran away