mad hermit

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Getting your butt busted by a smelly, STD-infected sausage with no protection.

He said he’d only had one partner in 10 years. I believed him until I saw his face.

She showed up at my door with a bottle of wine and a herpes outbreak.

He didn’t wash his hands before he touched my face. I’ve never been so embarrassed.

Getting your rear end poked by a grungy, STD-covered log with zero protection.

He looked like he hadn’t seen a soap in 20 years. I didn’t ask questions.

She said it was a ‘quickie’ and left before I could say anything.

I had to take a shower twice just to feel normal again.

Getting your backside mauled by a dirty, unwashed, possibly infected meat stick with no care.

He said it was ‘just a little something.’ I know better now.

She didn’t even wash her hands after. I’m still sore.

I had to take a break from work for a week. It was that bad.