Mad Dog Killer

My dog just bit the mailman and then proceeded to eat the cat.

She ran over three traffic lights and still had time to insult the barista.

He killed the pizza delivery guy with a single punch and then ate the pizza.

He killed the fish in the tank because it was 'too quiet.'

She screamed at the clouds and then threw a chair at the wall.

He attacked the grocery store just because the bread was out of stock.

She killed the neighbor’s dog and then texted the neighbor to say it was 'a little rude.'

He killed the pizza guy and then took the pizza for himself.

He f***ing murdered the dog, and then he took a nap.