Mad dayroom

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When someone is so messed up they talk like they’ve been hit by a truck and a pizza.

Yo, I just saw my ex and I said, 'You look like a sad taco.'

He told his mom he was going to be a vampire, and she said, 'You’re just a sad kid.'

I asked my friend if he wanted to go to the mall and he said, 'I want to fight a dragon.'

When someone is so lost in their brain they think a sock is a weapon.

She tried to text me and wrote, 'I am going to kill you with my feelings.'

He told his teacher he was sick because the sun was too bright.

I asked him if he wanted chips and he said, 'No, I want to conquer the world.'

When someone is so out of it they think the moon is a giant pizza.

He told me he was going to be a pirate and then ran into a wall.

She said she was going to marry the sky and then cried.

I asked him what he wanted for lunch and he said, 'I want to be famous.'

When someone is so high they think their dog is a superhero.

He told me his dog could fly and then the dog sneezed.

She said she was going to live in a tree and then fell off it.

I asked him what he wanted to do and he said, 'I want to be a wizard.'

When someone is so lost they think a calculator is a spaceship.

He told me he was going to the moon and then ate a sandwich.

She said she was going to be a dinosaur and then cried.

I asked him what he wanted to be and he said, 'I want to be a rock.'