Macurbate

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To stare at your iDevice so long it feels like your brain is melting into the screen.

I spent 8 hours on my iPhone today. My face is now part of the iPhone. #Macurbate #faceplant

My iPad is my new boyfriend. My ex is still in the chat. #Macurbate #soulmate

I watched 15 TikToks before bed. Now my eyes are broken. #Macurbate #screenaddict

To treat your iDevice like it's your only friend and your only lover.

My iPhone is my only friend. My mom called me 10 times. I ignored her. #Macurbate #lonely

I texted my iDevice instead of my crush. Now I’m single. #Macurbate #crushfail

My iMac is my heart. My ex is just a tab. #Macurbate #tablife

To worship your iDevice so much you forget how to live outside of it.

I didn’t eat lunch because I was too busy watching Instagram stories. #Macurbate #starving

I forgot my birthday because my iPhone didn’t remind me. #Macurbate #birthdayfail

I walked into a wall because I was too busy playing Candy Crush. #Macurbate #wallface