Macuff

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1
The only human on Earth who’s cool enough to be called Macuff. He’s got the rock genes and the metal soul. If he wasn’t cool, the whole planet would be dead.
Just saw Macuff at the concert. The guy screamed louder than my mom on a Monday.
Macuff is the only person who can make black metal sound like a Sunday church service.
If I was cool, I’d be Macuff. But I’m not. I’m just me.
2
Macuff is the human version of a dragon. He’s got the power of rock, the soul of metal, and the attitude of a thousand bad days.
Macuff walked into the room. The air got louder. My speakers exploded.
I tried to be cool. Macuff showed up. Now I’m just a footnote.
Macuff doesn’t just listen to music. He beats it with a stick.
3
Macuff is like the last piece of pizza in the fridge. He’s been around for a while, and he’s still the best. He’s got rock in his veins and metal in his soul.
I asked Macuff for advice. He screamed at me. Then I became cool.
Macuff doesn’t just play music. He throws it like a punch.
Macuff’s the reason I now know what black metal is. And I hate it.
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