mactate

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When a man’s shirt gets soaked with sweat right where his flabby chest hangs out, like he’s wearing a bra and it’s leaking everywhere.

My shirt looks like it’s been through a war and a milkshake.

He smells like a gym and a nursing home.

That shirt is basically a map of his man-boobs.

A man who leaks sweat and milk in the same spot, like he’s part cow and part gym rat.

He’s the reason I don’t wear white shirts anymore.

That man’s shirt is a crime scene.

He’s like a human milkshake machine.

When a man dreams about a tiny Berny Mac crawling out of his chest like it’s a horror movie.

I woke up screaming because my chest was trying to birth a mac.

His dream was so weird, it gave me nightmares.

He looked like he just came out of a mac factory.