macro genius

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A person who counts every single bite like it's the last meal on Earth and shits out fat like it's their full-time job.

I hit my macros today. My pants are now my enemies.

I ate a salad for dinner. My body is now a war zone.

I lost 2 pounds. My self-esteem just got a raise.

A person who can format a spreadsheet better than their ex and knows more about carbs than the guy who sells them.

I made a macro spreadsheet so detailed it has a subtitle.

I formatted my Excel like it was a dating app.

My macros look like a college thesis. My life is a mess.