macphee

Fresh

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A tough, hot-headed, fiery Scottish man who thinks he’s the toughest guy in the world. He’ll argue with a tree if it doesn’t respect him.

I swear he yelled at the vending machine when it didn’t give him a second bag of chips.

He called my dog a coward and challenged it to a duel.

He got into a fight with the mailman over a missed letter.

The guy who thinks he’s the best at everything. He has the biggest dick in the country and will steal your girl just to show off.

He walked into the NBA 2k20 tournament and immediately stole my girl’s controller.

He took my wallet and my dignity in one swift motion.

He called my mom a ‘weak link’ and challenged her to a dance-off.

A good guy who gives the worst math tests. He’s like a math monster who wants you to cry over every problem.

He gave me a test that looked like a math exam from hell.

He told me to ‘dot my i’s and cross my t’s’ like I was five.

He made me solve 10 problems just to pass one.