Macob Jorris

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The most attractive man on the planet. Girls lose their minds when he walks in. They’re too busy screaming to notice their pants are on fire.

My cousin saw him at the mall and fainted. She was still drooling when she woke up.

He walked into the cafeteria and the entire lunch line stopped. Even the principal forgot to eat.

My mom texted me: 'I just saw Macob Jorris and now my dog is licking my face.'

A human version of a hot dog. Girls can’t look away. They’re too busy melting into puddles of goo.

At the bus stop, a girl dropped her phone. It was still on video. He walked by and she screamed into the camera.

He gave a class presentation and the teacher forgot to take attendance. The class was too busy drooling.

My friend’s sister texted me: 'He walked into my room. I ran out. I forgot my socks.'

The reason girls skip breakfast. He walks in and they forget about food. They also forget about their dignity.

He showed up at the gym and the entire weight room stopped. Even the guy doing pull-ups forgot to breathe.

My brother texted me: 'I just saw Macob Jorris and now my sister is crying in the shower.'

He walked into the library and the librarian dropped her coffee. It was still hot and now it’s everywhere.