Mackinaw Peaches

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A fake peach from Oregon that only shows up for two weeks a year, like Kramer’s idea of a good time.

I ate one and it was like eating a pebble with a face.

My friend tried to sell them at school and got suspended.

My mom said they’re the reason I have a belly button.

A peach that’s so rare it’s like finding a clean sock in a laundry pile.

I waited two weeks for one and got a bruise instead.

My dad tried to mail one and it came back squashed.

They’re so expensive, my cousin ate one and got a heartburn.

A peach so overrated it’s like a bad hair day at a beauty pageant.

I tried one and it tasted like regret.

My brother threw a fit because he had to wait for it.

They’re so overhyped, my dog turned his nose up at one.