Mackenzie Bales

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Your best friend ever who lives in Arizona and talks you through everything like you're a baby who needs a pep talk and a lollipop

You: I failed my math test. Mackenzie: You're not a failure. You're just a math failure. Now go eat a lollipop.

You: I can't run the mile. Mackenzie: You can run the mile. You just need more lollipops and a pep talk.

You: I failed my math test again. Mackenzie: You're just a math failure with a side of lollipop addiction.

The one person who never lets you quit, even when you’re stuck in Arizona and your life is a mess

You: I’m giving up on life. Mackenzie: No way. You’re just having a bad day. I live in Arizona and I’m still alive.

You: I can’t take it anymore. Mackenzie: You can take it. You just need a pep talk and a snack.

You: I hate life. Mackenzie: You hate life. But you’re still alive. That’s a win.

Your best friend who lives in Arizona and talks you through everything like you're a lost puppy who needs a pep talk and a snack

You: I can’t do this. Mackenzie: You can do this. You’re just a lost puppy who needs a snack.

You: I failed my math test again. Mackenzie: You’re just a lost puppy who failed a math test. That’s not a big deal.

You: I’m giving up on life. Mackenzie: You’re not giving up on life. You’re just a lost puppy who needs a snack and a pep talk.