Machult

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A dirty old man’s guide to becoming a king by mixing up his brain like a smoothie with kid stuff and adult nonsense.

'I’m not old. I’m just a man who’s been through Machult.', Bob, 53, after getting kicked out of a nightclub.

'My kid, my job, my meathead brain, that’s Machult.', Jake, 37, trying to explain his life to his therapist.

'I don’t know how I got here, but Machult did it.', A man who forgot his pants at a bar.

The secret sauce that lets a man become a beast by throwing a kid’s energy, an adult’s smarts, and a man’s stubbornness into a blender.

'I’m not a beast. I’m just Machulting.', Mark, 41, after losing a bet and having to wear a costume to work.

'I mixed my kid, my brain, and my dumbass into a soup. That’s Machult.', Tom, 39, at a family reunion.

'Machult is when you’re a kid in a man’s body with a kid’s brain.', A man who got kicked out of a kid’s party.

A man’s way of saying he’s evolved from a boy to a beast by mixing up his brain with kid stuff, adult nonsense, and a man’s ego.

'I’m not evolved. I’m just Machulted.', Steve, 45, after winning a bar fight and getting a tattoo.

'I mixed my kid’s brain, my adult stress, and my man’s ego, that’s Machult.', A man who got divorced and now lives in his mom’s basement.

'Machult is when you’re a man who thinks he’s a kid, but he’s still got adult problems.', A man who tried to start a band and failed.

A man’s way of telling the world he’s got a kid’s brain, an adult’s problems, and a man’s swagger all crammed into one messy personality.

'I didn’t get a kid’s brain. I got Machult.', Joe, 42, after getting kicked out of a kid’s party.

'I mixed my kid’s brain, my adult stress, and my man’s swagger, that’s Machult.', A man who tried to start a business and failed.

'Machult is when you’re a man who thinks he’s a kid, but he’s still got adult problems.', A man who got divorced and now lives in his mom’s basement.

A man’s way of saying he’s taken a kid’s energy, an adult’s smarts, and a man’s stubbornness to become a monster in human form.

'I’m not a monster. I’m just Machulted.', Mike, 43, after losing a bet and having to wear a costume to work.

'I mixed my kid’s energy, my adult smarts, and my man’s stubbornness, that’s Machult.', A man who got kicked out of a bar fight.

'Machult is when you’re a man who thinks he’s a kid, but he’s still got adult problems.', A man who tried to start a band and failed.