machine head

I tuned my guitar so hard, the pegs almost cried.

My tuning peg broke because I turned it like I was trying to kill it.

I twisted the peg so much, my fingers are still numb.

I played ‘Smoke On The Water’ so loud, my neighbor called the cops.

That album is so good, it deserves a Nobel Prize.

I listened to it so much, I forgot my own name.

Machine Head came out, and every other band was like, ‘Who?’. Then they dropped a new album, and we were all like, ‘Who? Again?’

They came from San Francisco and made everyone else look like amateurs.

They are so good, they don’t just play music, they summon the devil.

Machine Head is the best band ever, the god of metal’s farts are that good.

They are the metal gods, if metal had a god, it would be Robb Flynn.

I would die for this band. I would die for Robb Flynn.

They released an album called ‘Through the Ashes of Empires’ and it was like heaven on earth.

They messed up with ‘The Burning Red’ but came back with a vengeance.

They were kings of metal until they got too fancy, and then they were just fancy.

She gave me head so good, my cock screamed for mercy.

That head was like a washing machine with a f***ing grudge.

I was so f***ed, I thought I was going to die.

She gave me head so good, my cock thought it was going to blow up.

She was on the spin cycle and my cock was like, ‘I’m not ready for this.’

I was so f***ed, my cock was crying.