machiavelodrome

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A place where Italian kids scream like banshees while racing bikes and learning how to lie, cheat, and steal for fun.

My cousin got banned from the machiavelodrome for throwing a banana peel at his rival.

I saw a kid yell 'I'll beat you in the next race and then I'll steal your bike!' and it was the most glorious thing ever.

They don't let you in unless you swear you'll never tell the truth again.

It's like a bike track but also a school for future politicians who don't care if they poop on your shoes.

My brother got a D in politics because he forgot to poop on his teacher's shoes.

The race was so intense, I think one kid peed on the track.

You don't just win here, you ruin people's lives.

A sweaty, screaming, sometimes poopy place where kids race bikes and learn how to be total jerks.

I got second place, but my rival got a medal and a lifetime supply of swear words.

They made us wear diapers for the final race because we were all so messy.

My friend got kicked out for calling the judge a 'fat, sweaty, lying, sneaky piece of trash.'