MacGyverbation

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When you use junk from around the house to jerk off like you're trying to win a bet with your dad.

Used a toaster and a sock to get off because the remote was broken.

Drove my mom nuts by using her hair dryer and a banana.

Made my dog run away by using a vacuum and a spatula.

When you get yourself off using things you wouldn't normally think of as a cock or a pussy.

Used a spatula and a lampshade to get off because I was out of lube.

Got myself going with a mop and a coffee cup.

Used my neighbor's cat as a makeshift dildo.

When you’re so desperate for a quickie you use whatever’s lying around, even if it’s gross.

Used a sock and a wrench because I didn’t have any lube and it was 3 a. m.

Got off with a mop bucket and a soup ladle because I was too lazy to get up.

Used my sister’s hairbrush and a cheese grater.