MacDiver

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2 views · Added 8d ago · 5 definitions

Anything that can double as a meaty stick when you're desperate and your brain is too fried to think straight.

My sock was the only thing I could find when my roommate ran out of lube.

I used my brother's pencil during lunch break because I had no choice.

The breadstick became a hero during my midnight solo session.

A last-minute substitute for a real dildo when you're too lazy to go to the store and too proud to admit you're out.

I used my dog's tail because I was too tired to get up.

My sister's spoon was the best thing I had when I had no money.

The broom handle was my only hope during the weekend.

Any object that you slap on your junk when you're too drunk to care if it's clean or not.

I used my dad's spatula because I was too drunk to think.

My neighbor's mop was the only thing I could grab at 2 a. m.

The cheese grater was my friend for the whole week.

A thing you grab when you're too embarrassed to ask for something else and your brain is screaming at you.

I used my mom's ladle because I didn't want to explain why I was in the kitchen.

My coworker's pen was my only option during the office meeting.

The pizza cutter was my savior when I was too shy to ask.

A random item you use when you're too broke to buy something proper and your dignity is already gone.

I used my brother's ruler because I didn't have any money.

The toilet paper was my only friend when I had no other options.

My neighbor's shoelace was the best thing I had that week.