maarte

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A person who picks apart everything like it’s a bad pizza and the cheese is crying.

I swear, if the coffee wasn’t hot enough, she’d throw it at the barista.

He spent 10 minutes arguing about the placement of a single crumb on the toast.

She turned a simple movie night into a full-blown detective case over the color of the subtitles.

Someone who acts like you dropped a turd in their soup just because you used the wrong spoon.

She flipped out because I used the red fork instead of the blue one.

He ruined the whole dinner just because the salad had one extra leaf.

He got mad because the pizza didn’t come in the exact order we wanted.

The worst kind of critic who thinks every little mistake is a personal attack.

He called me a failure because my coffee was slightly burnt.

She cried because the movie had a 3-second scene that wasn’t perfect.

He yelled at the waiter for bringing the wrong bread.

A person who turns small problems into full-blown disasters in their head.

She thought the sky was falling because the clouds were a little gray.

He thought the world was ending because the TV remote was in the wrong spot.

She cried because the soup was lukewarm instead of boiling.

Someone who acts like you insulted their grandma just because you spilled a little water.

He yelled at me because I knocked over a single glass of water.

She cried because the coffee wasn’t strong enough.

He got mad because the bread was slightly toasted.