maalia

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National Maalia Day is when you have to give her stuff or get spanked. She’s probably been through hell this year, so don’t make her cry.

Maalia, I brought you chocolate. Don’t expect me to buy you a car too.

Why is April 11 my worst day of the year? Maalia is here.

If I don’t get a gift, I’ll tell your mom about your ugly middle name.

Maalia is like the best friend you ever had, but she also judges your life choices and will tell you to your face.

Maalia, I failed my math test. You’re not helping me.

She told me I need to stop eating pizza for breakfast. I’m gonna die.

Maalia, I’m getting a tattoo. You think it’s stupid.

Maalia is the queen of everything. She’s perfect. You’re lucky to know her. If she talks to you, you’re a winner.

Maalia said I’m her favorite person. I’m not even good at anything.

She just texted me and said I’m ‘a gem.’ I’m confused but happy.

Maalia smiled at me. I’m now the king of the world.