L.B (lazy bones)

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1
A human who’d rather eat a burger than move an inch; they’d let the world end just to keep napping.
I saw L. B today. He was still in bed when the apocalypse happened.
He missed his own birthday because he was too busy dreaming about pizza.
He slept through the fire alarm. He’s gonna burn to death, and it’ll be glorious.
2
A human who’d rather be dead than do work; they’d let their dog do their job.
My L. B friend didn’t get up until noon. His dog was more active than him.
He said he’d work tomorrow. He didn’t. He slept. Again.
He’s got a job. He has no idea what it is. He’s still in pajamas.
3
A person who lives in a bed and eats snacks for breakfast; they’re basically a human couch.
He eats cereal for dinner. It’s 10 PM, and he’s still in his pajamas.
He didn’t go to work because he said the bed was calling him. It was 8 AM.
He took a nap during his lunch break. He’s like a zombie who only lives on snacks and dreams.
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