Laidzy

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When you're so desperate to get some action that you forget to move your butt and just sit there like a sack of crap.

'I saw him on the couch. He didn’t even blink when I walked in.'

'He said he’d be there in five minutes. He’s still in pajamas.'

'He didn’t even bother to shave. I think he forgot how to breathe.'

A condition where you're too distracted by the thought of getting lucky to do anything else, even if it's obvious you're being lazy.

'He was staring at the ceiling like it had a message for him.'

'She brought him coffee, and he still didn’t move.'

'He fell asleep while waiting for her text.'

When you're so lazy you think getting laid is the same as doing nothing, and you're proud of yourself for it.

'He said he was working. I saw him on the couch eating chips.'

'He called it a win. I called it a loss.'

'He didn’t even shower. He just said, 'I'm already half-dressed.'